Dr. Saliha Afridi Reflects on 2021

‘Tis the Season to Reflect, Connect and Imagine”

By Dr. Saliha Afridi, Clinical Psychologist and MD and Founder of The LightHouse Arabia

As one year comes to an end and another begins, it is normal to feel many mixed emotions. As with most endings, we are faced with feelings of sadness, regret, loss, grief and gratitude, and as with new beginnings, we are filled with hope, strength, and optimism. And because endings present difficult emotions, it is easy for people to brush aside 2021 and quickly move forward towards 2022. But I urge you not to move on so quickly. Instead, reflect on 2021; honour the months and the memories, and take away the lessons, so that you can move forward wiser, and more committed to 2022.

Here are a few suggestions on how to do that:

1. Make time to reflect. In the busyness of the holiday and travel seasons, it’s easy to lose track of time and the next thing you know it’s January 2022. For this reason, it is important to schedule alone time so that you can reflect on 2021. You can do this as a daily practice or once a week. Go through the below questions and go back to them frequently so that you remember the associated memories and lessons. Write as often, or as little as you need. Try to work periodically through the months, and maybe even go through your phone’s photo album to jog your memory. Here are a few questions and prompts for you to consider:

• Your favourite memories of 2021.
• What you celebrated this year.
• The most difficult experiences you had this year.
• The things you learned this year.
• The biggest challenge you overcame.
• The biggest wins.
• The people that were most important in your journey through 2021.
• Some things you wish didn’t happen in 2021.
• Something you are still grieving the loss of.
• Something you are grateful for.
• Something you wish you made more time for.

2. Write about your future self. We know that new year resolutions don’t work for the majority of people, so why not try something different this year? Write about your future self. This exercise requires you to think about your December 2022-self and the best possible outcome for your life this coming year. If everything went right, what would you be doing? Who would you be with? How would you feel, look, think, and act in a year’s time? Once you have visceral and visually engaged with these images, write about them in great detail. This exercise is shown to improve mood, and outlook on life. You can do this exercise as often as you like.

1. Action your future goals by starting today. Is there something you can start doing today to get to that future self you imagined? Don’t wait for January 1st to begin, do it now, even if it is the tiniest move towards your future self. This could be that you go to bed five minutes earlier than your usual bedtime or you start walking for every day. Tiny steps lead to great changes. Then, by the time January 1st rolls around, you will have already built momentum and self-confidence to take on 2022.

1. Make an intention to cultivate a relationship with yourself. The only person who will travel through all the years of your life is you, so make an intention to start spending time with yourself. The only way to achieve self-love, self-care, self-confidence, self-respect, and self-compassion is through the self. It is said that ‘stillness is the altar of the spirit’ so make time to still yourself, by disconnecting from technology and connecting to your inner world. Go for walks alone, journal, engage in exploratory therapies, and dialogue with yourself. And as it is with all new relationships, when you first start doing this it will feel uncomfortable, but stay committed.

1. Ask yourself “Where do I need to grow up?” Make this a year you grow up in the area of your life where you are feeling held back. This is not easy to do when we have abdicated our care or approval in the hands of others our whole life. So ask yourself, where do you need to take ownership of your life? Where do you need to show up for yourself? Where do you need to take responsibility for your happiness? Where are you giving your power away and why? It is much easier to come to the end of our year and blame COVID-19 or our boss, or our family members for holding us back; however, there will always be external circumstances that come on our path, some will use them as an opportunity to grow up while others will use them as justification to remain stuck. Now is the time to grow up and take your power back.