Canadian-Irish comedian Katherine Ryan first made a name for herself in the early 2000s after touring the comedy circuit in Canada. Her outspoken views on men, relationships, marriage, and motherhood have earned her a huge following in Canada, The United States, and Europe. Her utterly unapologetic stand-up shows make her one of the funniest female comedians today.
Katherine Ryan
Ryan’s comedy has no limits as she fuses women’s issues, pop culture and socio-political issues to create a show that many women (and men) can relate to.
This April Katherine will make her Dubai debut at the 2024 edition of Dubai Comedy Festival, with a stand-up gig that promises to be lighthearted, hilarious and relatable. Ahead of her show, we talk to the comedian to discuss motherhood and marriage, as well as an insight into her upcoming show.
What can we expect from the new show Battleaxe in Dubai?
My comedy is mostly self-authored. It’s about family life, marriage, my experiences and pop culture – it’s provocative, honest and fun! I’ve spent the last two and a half years having children, and before that, no one was going anywhere [during covid-19], so I feel quite removed from the woman that I used to be. I think sometimes you lose yourself in motherhood, which is obviously such a blessing, but I’m a really hands-on mum, so this is my big outing. Dubai is kicking off a big tour of Europe, The UK and The US, so this will be my first taste of getting back to the fun and the woman I used to be after becoming a mum again.
Can you give us any sneak peeks of what we can expect from the show?
I think we can all use a laugh, so I try to talk about subjects in which people hopefully see themselves and their own lives. Things like waiting until your over 35 to have children, but also the duality between having a teenager and having babies in the house.
On my last tour, [I was single and] I advised women not to have a partner, and then I bumped into my high school boyfriend and married him, so I have this life that came at me very quickly, and it is a life that I didn’t anticipate, and at the time, I didn’t want. All of a sudden I had a husband and two babies and I was at home every day with everyone. So there are a lot of observational things around parenting and romance and marriage. I talk about my husband I think in a way that just about would make him leave me but keeps him on the right side of divorce! I talk about some of the frustrations that women in particular are feeling in their marriage, but I think my comedy is also a real insight for men! There’s something for everyone.
How do you like people to feel when they leave your show?
A Scottish comedian told me about 15 years ago that we are in the service industry and we are there to provide a service to give people escapism from their problems or their day-to-day lives. You do the talking for them, and you bring out the truths of their own lives, and you find the lightness in the dark, and make them laugh.
So I definitely want people to leave feeling like they’ve laughed a lot, but I also want them to feel lighter and happier and more calm and connected to others. I think women leave my show feeling really empowered because I speak a lot about women in a very empowering way. When I started doing stand-up comedy in the early 2000s in Canada, comedians were mostly men, and they didn’t talk about women in a nice way at all. And so I talk about men almost ironically in a negative way just to see how they like it – but I’m being ironic obviously – I don’t hate men or anything (although I have been accused of that!). But I speak about women in a way that I hope makes them feel more body confident, more successful, and more peaceful.
As a woman in an industry dominated by men, what have the challenges been?
I think I found the positive in a lot of the challenges, so being different, looking different, sounding different, you use those things to your advantage. Right away, as soon as I speak, I sound different and as soon as I walk on stage (certainly when I started) you hear a groan from the audience. But I loved being an underdog and I loved winning over a crowd and proving people wrong. I always thought that was really fun.
But there were obviously downsides to being the only woman. For example, in a panel show setting, which I used to do a lot of, you might not have likeminded people to bounce off of, so if you thought you were saying something funny you might get shut down faster than if the boys were saying something that they all connected with. To them, my experiences were niche and that’s fair, my experiences WERE niche, but now we see different types of women on these same shows. Women from different socio-economic backgrounds, different ethnic backgrounds and we’ve learned – I think on television in the UK anyway – that one woman, especially one, middle-class white woman, doesn’t tell the story of a spectrum of experiences. So it’s wonderful now, but back in the day, it was different.
You have two new babies as well as your teenage daughter, Violet – what are you doing differently this time?
Yes, I have two babies because I had one and I immediately had another one, and they are sick this week so I haven’t really slept since March – but it’s OK! It’s a different experience having children over 35, in a few ways. When I had my daughter, Violet, I was 24, and I had never had any luxuries. So I wasn’t sacrificing lunch with my girlfriends or getting my nails done. I didn’t know what it was like to have my own autonomy yet. So I just rolled with the punches – I felt like I mothered instinctively, I didn’t have a phone, and I was a great mum.
But now, I have led this life of luxury and freedom for the last ten years, plus I’m old and tired. I used to be say ‘why can’t women have kids until we’re 100?’ And now I know, it’s because we are too tired! We might have one more, but I’m 40 now, and that baby is going to need a nanny!
How do you balance your career and being a mum?
It’s really difficult. I’ve always been working throughout, but I tour in a different way to the male comedians. I might do a show that’s four hours away from my house, and then I’ll drive home and get into bed, and I’m up with the kids throughout the night, and then I’m up with them for good at 5:30 in the morning.
When my son was born two and a half years ago, I was on tour, and I brought him along to all the places. He absolutely hated it; he was not a portable baby! It was really difficult – I was sleep-deprived, and I got really fat for a while too, which is fine for some people, but it didn’t look right on me. I gained all of the weight around my face and shoulders so it just didn’t work, and people had to sort of get their head around this different version of me. So there are all these different complexities for women when you choose to have a family, and you’re a performer. I think the biggest challenge is the guilt. There is always someone competent at home – whether it’s the babysitter or my husband – to look after my children, my children will be fine. But I think all mothers can be reminded that it is the guilt that holds them back the most. It’s an internal struggle.
What lesson do you think your children will take from you?
I get asked a lot about some of the more provocative comedy that I do and how I’ll explain that to my children. My 15-year-old daughter already has access to everything I’ve ever said online and she secretly likes it because I’ve met Taylor Swift! But I think the lesson is that if you become a mother (and you don’t HAVE to become a mother at all), but if you choose to; what’s important is that you can continue to be the woman that you were before. Those two women can exist in parallel, and you don’t have to silence yourself and not say certain things because you’re a mother. My children appreciate that I am who I am at home, but I also have this job where I’m a clown who uses naughty words sometimes.
What message would you give to your younger self?
I would tell her that her struggles are necessary and to really lean into them and go through them with robust determination because they will make her a better person. I wouldn’t take any of them away. I would love to tell my younger self not to bother having any romances until her late thirties, but I think they were necessary. They taught me so many lessons. I wouldn’t want to tell her that everything will be OK, I don’t think that would have been motivational for her to hear.
What advice would you give to aspiring comedians?
I think the game has changed, and the way that I started, going to open mic nights and getting an agent in the physical world is not the way to do it today. I think they [aspring comedians today] would need to understand the future of AI and social media and technology. It’s a wonderful time, actually because everyone has a level playing field and everyone has a phone, you can learn to edit, and you can trust your own timing. So I would get on social media, and most importantly of all, I would hone your authentic voice because you’ll never be successful by doing an impression of someone else. So figure out who you are and what you stand for and really lean into that authentic voice; even if people discourage you at first, you’ll find a tribe who really loves it, hopefully.
What’s the professional motto you live by?
Never complain, never explain.
Why should our readers come and see your show?
Come to the show because it will be a great night out. Supporting a comedy festival in its infancy guarantees that the festival will come back with bigger names. So even if you don’t want to see me but who you do want to see is Mindy Kaling or Amy Schumar, unfortunately, you have to come and see me to build the comedy festival!
And I think that it’s important to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s a fun night out, and it’s going to be a blast!
Katherine Ryan’s Battleaxe will take place on 12th April 2024 at Dubai Opera. For tickets click here.
